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How to find more life balance - with Anna Mathur

February 11, 2021

We all tend to live our lives at 100 miles per hour. Whether it’s taking on more work projects, side hustles, or weekend plans, it’s probably more than we can really handle. Even during a pandemic, we’ve been putting pressure on ourselves to be as productive as possible and setting goals that are, most likely, unachievable.

As part of our focus on wellbeing, psychotherapist Anna Mathur (and mum of 3) took the time to talk to us on Instagram and shared 7 of her top tips on how to get more balance in life… and they aren’t what you might expect!

“How on earth do we get more balance in our lives? What does that even mean? What does that look like?”

TIPS TO FIND MORE B.A.L.A.N.C.E.

“The harshest critics in our lives are usually ourselves. Sometimes the reason you don’t feel good enough is because you were never created to fulfil all the roles you’re having to fulfil; to the high level you’re expecting.”

B – Be realistic

Is your sense of self-worth resting on how much you do, how well you do, and how fast you do it? You might be a perfectionist… In the video, Anna explains how perfectionism can hinder our ability to create more balance in our lives, when we’re trying to do more than we’re realistically able to.

While everyone has non-negotiable and demanding responsibilities in life – try to remember that you are just one person.

A – Acknowledge that you are always new

Every day that we wake up, we are new. We have a different set of resources. We might not have had enough sleep, or maybe we argued with a loved one. We might be tired, hungry or hormonal.

To expect yourself to function at the same speed, to the same standard, with the same energy every day is detrimental to your life balance.

A person in bed snoozing an alarm clock.
“When I do that, when I do this, when I’m earning this much, when I’ve sorted that out, when I’ve lost weight... Then I’ll have balance.”

L – Live for the now

So often, we hold out for our happiness based on unrealistic goals, hopes or aims.

Anna reminds us, that there is always something to be grateful for, and learning how to appreciate what you’ve got while also dreaming about the future will be a step towards achieving better balance.

A – Avoid the fast lane

Sometimes you have to step out of the fast lane in order to keep going. We don’t have the resource or the energy to do everything, and it’s important to remember that you have the option to change your mind or say no, if you're finding things hard.

A motorway surrounded by green countryside.
“Sometimes you have to say “no” to something, in order to make space to say “yes” to something better.”

N – No!

In the video, Anna discusses how we believe that saying “yes” will make people like us, fulfil us, or make us feel worthwhile. In reality, we all need to understand when saying “yes” is going to cost us too much, and when saying “no” is the right thing to do for everyone.

C – Cut comparison

So often, we idealise other people’s lives so that we can reassure ourselves that balance exists. It must be possible, because “so and so” juggles everything so well! We often see the finished result, the tidy house, the lovely clothes, but we don’t know what it took to get that person there.

The reality is that everyone’s lives are messy, and everyone juggles things in different ways. Stop comparing your behind-the-scenes to someone else’s highlight reel.

A stack of pebbles balanced in the sand.
“If you live your life trying to please everyone else, you will fail.”

E – Energy saving mode

We all need a bit of fuel in the tank for the times when life throws us curveballs. When we live life at 100 miles per hour, we often don’t have anything left to give when something unexpected happens. Take a deep breath and slow your thoughts. Take care of yourself and try to find time to relax now and again.

Whether you’re struggling to juggle everything right now, or if things just seem a little off balance in your life – we highly recommend you take some time out of your day, find a quiet space, and enjoy Anna Mathur’s insightful words of advice.

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