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How to grow in confidence - with Anna Mathur

February 11, 2021

The past year has been challenging in so many ways. We’ve all needed to adapt quickly and confidently to the “new normal”, but sometimes it just feels like everyone else has a better handle on the situation than we do.

It’s so important that we look after our mental health in times like these, so as part of our focus on wellbeing, psychotherapist Anna Mathur took the time to talk to us on Instagram about how to grow in confidence.

Psychotherapist Anna Mathur sitting in a brightly lit living room, working on a laptop.

B.E. Y.O.U.

In the video, Anna talks us through five different factors that contribute to our overall confidence - “BE YOU”. Offering insightful knowledge about why we feel the way we feel; giving advice on manageable and realistic ways to adapt and grow in confidence.

“The gap between where you think you should be, and where you actually are, is often filled with self-criticism and doubt.”
A diary, a watch, and a cup of coffee laid out on a table.

B – Benchmark

We all set ourselves a benchmark when it comes to our self-worth. Whether that be a level of success we want to achieve, a specific goal or target we want to reach, or a type of person we want to become.

Setting your benchmark at a realistic and achievable level is the first step to growing in confidence.

E – Extrovert or introvert?

Sometimes confidence isn’t what it looks like on the surface. It’s about a person respecting the way that they are wired. Knowing what your boundaries are, being authentic to yourself, and not trying to be anything you’re not is the next step to confidence.

“In reality, confidence looks different for everyone. It’s not about being the loudest person in the room, but about respecting your own needs, knowing who you are, and being authentic to yourself.”
“Everyone is born with equal self-worth and this never changes. It’s your understanding of self-worth that changes.”

Y – Your validation

The next step in your confidence growing journey is to understand your self-worth.

Whether you’re chasing work, success, money, people, friends, or positive feedback to make you feel validated – it’s really important to remember that none of it will ever be enough to satisfy your sense of self-worth if you don’t really believe it yourself.

O – Only a snapshot

Anna reminds us that comparison really is the thief of joy. We’re all guilty of glorifying other people who seem to “have it all together”. But, in order to grow our own confidence, we need to remember that no one’s lives are perfect, and what they’re choosing to show us is only the tip of the iceberg (and what they want us to see).

A person arranging polaroid photos.

U – Undoing

A final step towards growing in confidence is to undo all the things that made you less confident in the first place.

Strip back all the negative feedback. There will always be someone who doesn’t like you, who doesn’t find you funny or appreciate you. You can’t control that, but the one thing you can control, is being authentic to yourself, being exactly who you are and want to be.

So, whether you’re feeling like things are tough right now and you could use a few words of encouragement – or even if you feel like you’re on top of things – we highly recommend you take a little bit of time out of your day, find a quiet space, and enjoy Anna Mathur’s words of advice.

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